Last night I was frantically working when my 1 year old crawled into my lap and said, “Hold you me, Mommy”.

I turned off my computer, put away my work, and held him close, running my hands through his hair, tickling his feet with my fingers and giving him endless kisses. Soon my 3 year old joined in and then my husband.

I love my family and moments like that are precious. But I couldn’t keep my mind from running through my “to do list”….contact retailers interested in selling our trail guides, plan our backcountry navigation school curriculum, complete editorial calendars for both Hike Like A Woman and Just Trails, email my editor about the first few chapters of the book I’m writing about hiking with babies and toddlers, write a press release for WY Outside, an organization I’m doing some volunteer work for, figure out our advertising budget, plan meals for next week, schedule hikes for my hiking group…

My priorities should be my family and then my work. But most of the time my priorities are completely askew.

I ask the question, “am I enough” to myself a lot, too much. Because no matter what I’m never going to be “enough”…enough wife, enough mom, enough entrepreneur, enough, enough, enough.

Do you ever feel like this?

We live in a society where we pride ourselves on being busy. We wear it like a badge of honor. We brag about it. We’re proud of it.

But I’m sick of it.

I’m not proud of my busy life. I’m embarrassed that I send work emails from my iPhone while my kids play at the park.  I’m embarrassed that it takes a child crawling into my lap to physically remind me to slow down and pay attention.

When I see myself get into this crazy overwhelmed mess the only thing I can do is this.

Load my kids and my gear and go, drive into the mountains. Leave my phone in the car and just be, be present with myself and be present with them.

So that’s where I’m headed.

Because I am my best me when I stop trying to be enough.

Where do you go and what do you to do keep yourself from working into a frenzy like a maniac?

 

 

5 comments on “Am I ‘Enough?’

  1. My days of little ones around have passed, but working two jobs, I stay quite busy. Busy is not necessarily bad, but too much is too much! I do what you do, I head to the woods. Sometimes alone, sometimes with others. Time on the trail, pushing my limits or no, always helps me to find my right place in this world. A good book will do that on a rainy day. Good on ya for putting everything down and taking those kiddos out! The world needs more Moms like you. I was not an outdoor chick when my kids were younger, wish I had been.

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