In the past few weeks, I’ve been called all sorts of horrible things via email, private message and publicly by women who I once considered to be my close friends.

They are women who I let into our Hike Like A Woman ambassador team and some into my leadership circle.

They are women who I’ve shared meals with.

Women who I’ve shared laughs with.

Women who I’ve shared late nights and bottles of wine with.

Women who I’ve shared summits and early morning sunrises with.

Women who I’ve shared campfires with and close quarters in backpacking tents.

Women who I’ve let into my home. My life. My heart.

You’d think that at 40 years old I’d stop caring about what other people think about me, or how I choose to run Hike Like A Woman.

But the truth is I’ll always care.

I’ll always mourn friendships lost.

I’ll always mourn relationships shattered.

I’ll always wonder why people come and go, and why some people go quietly and others go loudly making sure that everyone knows that they think you’re a lousy piece of sh*t.

As I’ve been dealing with feelings that I haven’t had since high school when all the cool kids called me “Buck-Tooth Becky” I’ve come to realize one thing.

People come and go and it’s good to let them go, it’s healthy for relationships to move on when they are no longer bringing joy.

It doesn’t make it easier, moving on is hard to do.

I’m not angry or upset anymore.

Instead, I’m flooding my mind with all of those amazing memories of women who were brought into my life to teach me about myself, about leadership and about how to forgive and let go.

Those were epic sunrises, sunsets, bottles of wine, campfires, rafting trips, smiles, laughter, and friendships.

Those are the memories that I’ll always treasure and hold dear, not what was said or written as friendships faded.

I’ve been quiet the past month or so.

Adjusting to a lot of newnesses, anticipating changes, stressing out about HLAW and Basecamp and wondering if I’m doing it all “right” and — I guess if I’m going to be honest, I’ve been hiding from the world trying to learn from this experience so that I can be the kind of friend that the people in my life who I love deserve.

Here’s to new beginnings and wonderful memories of past adventures.

Have you had friends come and go? What have you learned from the experience?

“Growing apart doesn’t change the fact that for a long time we grew side by side; our roots will always be tangled. I’m glad for that.”
– Ally Condie






4 comments on “The Complexities of Friendship

  1. As we grow older we don’t stop caring but from our past experiences and all the hard times we have been through we learn that if something is not good for your mental peace or health, it’s better to let go. I’m glad to see you doing well. We all have our own coping mechanisms and I’m happy you found yours!

  2. Rebecca-
    You are really a truly amazing lady. You are very right about people who come and go. It really can change us. I really would like to encourage you to keep trucking right on. You know what is best for HLAW and our ambassador group. We can grow closer to those who ride the waves together. I think it seasons us like a cast iron skillet. I appreciate the opportunity to get to know you and work with you.

  3. Love you, Rebecca. You do life incredibly well and with passion and heart wide open – that is often why it hurts so much. I often dwell on many of the same things. Keep plugging on and keeping your head up. You’re doing it so right!!!

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